God is doing something in my heart. I am not yet sure what it is, but He is moving. Just the other day I had the thought “I don’t know what your doing Lord, but it feels like chaos.” That is truly how I feel. He is moving, and I am sitting here amidst a jumble of feelings and thoughts. Trying to sort them all out, yet afraid of what He might be doing. What is going to be the end of all this chaos He is beginning to sort out? I have been pondering many things in my heart, for quite some time now. Not just about adoption and Africa, many thoughts on many things. Though they seem varied and unconnected, I know they are not.
On the way to church this morning I heard a song for the first time. It may have been on the radio for a while now, so it may not be new to any of you, but it was certainly new to me. I nearly had to stop the car when I started listening to the words. It summed up perfectly what I have been thinking. It is a song by Sanctus Real, here is the bridge:
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever your doing Lord, I trust you.