We clean up real nice. Don’t we make a lovely couple?
Can we talk about snoring? Seriously people…I LOVE my husband, but a girl can only take so much. I MUST have my sleep you know. Anyway, when ever so gently nudging, him did not stop the noise, I finally got up and moved toward the sofa. Surely peaceful sleep would find me there…right? So honestly, what is worse…a snoring beloved…or ALL THREE smoke detectors beeping due to low battery. Seriously, I was on the brink of insanity. What is the only logical thing to do? Remove all the batteries from the smoke detectors, of course. Really, what are the odds we would have a fire on the night I decide to remove all the fire alarms? (Breathe easy…there was no fire) Snuggled up, in a now quiet room, on a very uncomfortable couch, I finally fall fast asleep. I wake up looking like this.
Bitten, by a spider…on my EYE!!!! Um, have I mentioned how much I dislike arachnids? So my sweet beloved, takes me to the clinic for some medical care. The doctor walks in, looks at me, and says, “Oh, that’s not good.” Over the course of twenty minutes with her she tells me no less than seven times, “If this gets any worse go to the emergency room, right away.” Worse? It’s going to get worse? Now I am a worse case scenario kind of gal, so I am thinking brown recluse. I’m loosing my eye for sure, maybe half my face. I was wondering if Richard was going to be able to handle a wife with half a face. Then there was William. I am not sure exactly what he was thinking, but a look of fear came across his face each time he looked at me. I think he was afraid I was contagious. Everyone else, including my ever so dear and faithful friends, just had a good laugh.
Is this what I get for sleeping on the couch? Really, the snoring was bad. I needed to sleep.
Rest assured the steroids and the antibiotics are doing their job, and now I just look like I have a lazy and droopy eye. I still hate spiders…it really creeps me out that one was on me. It bit me. Do I now have spider DNA? Am I going to turn into spider woman? Now that is the ultimate nightmare. To turn into what I fear most. EWWW.
My beloved would like for me to add the following disclaimer: “I have really bad allergies, it is not my fault I was snoring. Have mercy on me. Besides, if I can put up with the ever so gentle nudging, she ought to be able to put with the snoring.”