I am here, I have not given up blogging for good. I am just still trying to process so many things. It is hard, but I have an Amazing God, who gives me new mercies every morning.
I do well most of the time…then my mind starts to wander. I replay that morning and the phone call in my mind. Then my heart starts to race and I feel like I can’t breathe. The tears start to flow, and I think of a million things that will never be. Then I think about my mom, and I can hardly stand it.
Then, by His grace, a passage of scripture will come to mind, and slowly I am put a ease. I am reminded of His goodness. I don’t see good in this…no matter how hard I look I don’t see any good. But, I know what I believe, and I know in Whom I have believed. I trust Him. Though I don’t see it, I believe Him. God is good. In Him there is NO evil. He loves me. He loves my mother. His word says that, “All things work together for good, for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that, I don’t see it, but I trust Him nevertheless.