One day we set about to complete a certain home school project. It included the purchase of a goat. That, my dear, is how you became a part of our family. We set out to fatten you up, and then enjoy you roasted over an open fire. You proceeded to worm your way into our hearts with your cute floppy ears, and incessant head butting. The way you followed us around, made you seem more like a pet than dinner.
We committed to keep you and love you.
Then we left for vacation.
I know you were not around when I painstakingly planted my garden, and placed a nice tall fence to keep animals just like you out. I know you don’t have any wisdom stored up in your tiny little goat brain, on the wealth of benefits of pesticide free, home-grown vegetables. As a result, one could over look and few squash, pepper, and bean plants with the tops chewed off. Organic lettuce and spinach is available at a very good price and they don’t grow well in the hot Texas sun. Those too, I can overlook. I have to admit, that my thirty plus HEIRLOOM tomato plants chewed down have me more than a bit upset. I might have been able to over look such a crime, since it appears they might produce some fruit despite your heinous acts. However, when I see my rows of corn, lovingly planted from seeds not genetically modified and tampered with by man, that I planted, for the purpose of harvesting seed, chewed down to the tiny baby ears of corn, I draw the line. You have gone to far.
It is at this point that I regret to inform you, that you must die.
Please, do not even attempt to use your old tricks in an attempt to spare your life. I will not be swayed. Don’t even think about blaming it on some other animal. Your distinctly goat evidence has been left all over my garden. It’s probably not even good fertilizer. Perhaps if you were a milk goat I would allow a stay of execution. However, since you provide nothing to our family but entertainment, I am afraid there is not much hope for you. We are not a family that is big on being entertained.
It saddens me that we must depart in this fashion.