Faithful Remembrances Blog

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Grace for the Orphan June 18, 2010

Filed under: Adoption,Adoption Journal,Bible Study,Faith,Family,Red Letters,Red Letters Adoption — faithfulremembrances @ 9:39 am

Maybe I am different from everyone else.

Perhaps I am more selfish.

More concerned with




what other people will think….


maybe even a little bit too concerned about what’s in it for ME.

Actually, there is no questioning it…

I am.

When we first began to talk about adoption, it was, in fact all about us.  We wanted these children, and we wanted them from this country, of this sex, of this age, and without these problems. (Not that any of that was wrong, it was, after all, God shaping and leading our desires)  Mostly, what I was concerned with was how hard the road would be for ME.  I wanted to eliminate  as many variables as I could that would add to the difficulty of adoption.  More importantly, I wanted to avoid those things which would be inconvenient, burdensome, hard, and painful for ME.

It never ceases to amaze me the depths of my depravity, the entirely sick grip selfish desires can have on my life.

Thankfully God is good, and He is the changer of hearts.

He changed my heart.

However, He didn’t bring about change with the snap of His fingers.  There was no magic moment when I understood adoption is not about me.  The understanding of who adoption is really about, and how the Lord truly feels about it, came through countless trials, heart wrenching scenes of broken and lonely children, His word, His Spirit, and some wonderful brothers and sisters who “got it” long before me.

What I learned is this:

Adoption is first and foremost about God.

The work He wants to do in the lives of children and parents, and the glory and honor He receives from that work, that’s where it’s at.

HIS people being HIS hands and feet.

Faith with deeds.

Pure religion.

Secondly it is about the children.

Anyone who has had their eyes opens to the plight of the orphan knows it’s certainly about them.

Once you’ve seen, you’re changed.


Countless nights I have been laying in bed beside my sweet man, my heart in anguish over the MILLIONS, without a family.

Still, in the back of my mind, I have my list.

“Lord if you ever call us to this again, I don’t want this__________.”

I am so glad He is longsuffering, this child of His still has much to learn.

He is ever a willing teacher.

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murder from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”  John 8:44

That’s what He got when He adopted me, and you, if indeed you are His child.

The devil’s children.

My little list of don’t wants.

He got it all.

His children, they have run the gamut of destructive sinful behaviors.

He didn’t get the cute cuddly infant, straight from the hospital, and with that the avoidance of all the ugly and painful orphan behaviors.

No, He gets the kids in foster care no one wants.

You know, the ones that are the making of made for TV movies.

The one everyone warns you about.

Yes, He gets the kids that

stab you while you’re sleeping…

burn your house down….




run away….

have drug addictions….

are promiscuous….

poison your beloved family pet….

have eating disorders….

learning disabilities….

terrible diseases….

the children that come with the disclaimer “Needs to be youngest, or only child”.

His children, they all have the dreaded diagnosis of RAD.  The one that strikes fear into the heart of every adoptive parent, Reactive Attachment Disorder.  They cannot love, and reject every bit of true love shown them.  All the while embracing the very things that are the antonym of love.

He gets the children that reject his love, his rules, his compassion, and his discipline.

What’s even greater, is He doesn’t just “get” those children, as if someone plops them in front of His throne.

No, He CHOOSES us.

He seeks us out.

He runs after us, leaving the 99.

He SUFFERS for us.

That we might no longer be children of the Devil,

He DIES for us.

As result, we become beloved


Then with compassion and mercy, and with strong cords of love He binds us to himself.

He cleanses our wounds.

He heals us.

He changes us.

He makes us like himself.

We no longer desire to do the sinister and evil deeds of our biological father.

We become like Christ.

We have








and self-control.

We love and trust.

We are remade into the image of Christ, with the promise that He will NEVER

Leave us


Forsake us.

We are now apart of His forever family.

God’s been working on my heart.  What HE is telling me is this:

HE loves the orphan.

All of them.

Regardless of their background.

Regardless of their sin.

No matter how damaged.

HE calls us to do the same.  If He calls Richard and I do adopt again, I cannot say yes, but not ________.

The only answer can be,

“Yes, Lord.  I trust you.  You are good and you know what you are doing.  If you are calling us, you will equip us.”

And it will be good because the same grace that saves me

Is available to them.


13 Responses to “Grace for the Orphan”

  1. Summer Says:

    Oh my, oh my. I had chills reading this–are you sure you did not crawl inside my heart and mind and then more eloquently than I write this post. AWESOME! I am going to share a link to this post on my blog, but please let me know if that is not ok. Love, love, love it.

    Love from the North,

    • faithfulremembrances Says:

      Summer, One day, either here or in our homeland, you and I will get to sit down and talk, face to face.

      Seriously, I have thought about how very alike you and I are, and how this sister I have never met, is one day, someone I’ll get to embrace.

      Copy away.

      Love from Texas

  2. Tova Says:

    Get out of my head, woman! 🙂

    BAWLING. I’ve been paralyzed by fear and anxiety and what people would say. Thank you for the blunt reminder of what’s at stake.

    • faithfulremembrances Says:

      Do it Tova, and hold on to Jesus, he’ll take care of you.

      Hugs and love from the south.

  3. lauradodson Says:

    very good M. I dont seem to know how to write what’s going on inside me, you seem to have that gift. To God be the glory.

  4. Keltie Says:

    I can only say Amen. You have such an amazing ability to speak to the hearts of moms. Love you.

  5. Bethany W. Says:

    I am so glad that Summer posted the link! Awesome post!


  6. Summer Says:

    Thanks so much for your sweet reply. Oh yes, I too have thought how amazing it would be to meet you face to face–bible open and sipping iced lattes. I have been very discouraged lately by opposition, and your like minded post and thoughtful reply was the “nudge” I needed 🙂

    Love from the North,

    P.S. Would you please pay for me–the Lord has asked me to share some serious stuff on my blog and I am not sure I am ready for the un-kind/hateful replies that are sure to follow.

  7. Jen Says:

    This is the first time I have visited your blog and I will definitely be coming here again and again.

    Not only have you spoken the truth, but you have done it eloquently and in a way that exhorts in love.


    And, I couldn’t agree more. . . these are biblical truths I have been thinking about a LOT over this past year (since the Lord called us to adopt a sibling group of 6 from foster care just 2 years after adopting a sibling group of 3 from Liberia)!

    Thank you, thank you for posting this. I am most definitely linking to this from my blog so that others might read it!

  8. Jen Says:

    Me again. Your post really inspired me and got me thinking. I posted this

    thanks for the encouragement and exhortation!

    • faithfulremembrances Says:


      Thank you. What a blessing to be used by my Jesus to move and inspire you to write such beautiful words.

  9. Sheila Says:

    Thank you! This is very encouraging. Exactly what we are dealing with at the moment. Confronted with my own heart and my own lists…. & selfishness… Thank you!

  10. Cyndy Says:

    Oh, thank you so much for this post. I really needed it today.

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