I am absolutely beside myself.
If I get lied to one more time, I might have to be hauled off in a straight jacket.
What the heck is it with this particular kid and lying?
What is with it with adopted kids lying?
This is the part when I say to those of you reading who are thinking, “What is it with you saying adopted kids, my kids are not adopted and they lie?”
I PROMISE YOU THEY DON’T LIE LIKE THIS.
It’s in all the books you know. All the books on adoption and attachment that I HATE because for the most part they ignore the fact that behaviors like this are SIN and should be dealt with as accordingly.
Adopted children are known to compulsively lie.
They say it’s an attachment issue.
I say I am going to go friggin’ ballistic if I get lied to again anytime in the next 24 hours.
This morning after I was lied to AGAIN about the most OBVIOUS thing, I did what any other deranged mother would do…
I ranted and raged and fumed about how this child keeps lying to ME.
Ohh, I was good and ticked off.
With good reason too.
I left said child sitting on his bed, while I took his brother to the orthodontist.
Have you ever heard someone tell you that the best time to talk with your children about uncomfortable subjects is when you are in the car…because they can’t go anywhere?
I think God subscribes to that ideology.
I often get a talkin’ to by the spirit when I am in the car with nowhere to go and nothing to distract me.
This morning, as usual it was about the condition of my heart.
The questions burning in mind: “Why does this make me so angry? Why can I get so worked up about this”
God’s answer: “Out of the overflow of the heart your mouth speaks.”
“No really Lord, he actually sinned against you and me. I should be angry shouldn’t I?”
“In your anger do not sin”
“Yeah, that’s real good. Surely Lord you’ve noticed that is pretty much impossible for me. Angry=sin in my world.”
“With me all things are possible. Besides, the problem here is not a lying child, it’s your heart, for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
“How can I not be angry? This is happening constantly?”
“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
“To whom much is given much is required. Forgive as you have been forgiven”
You see the real problem here is not that I have a compulsive liar in my house (although that is indeed a problem that must be dealt with) it is how this mother is dealing with the liar.
His lying doesn’t make me angry and have a ridiculous fit like some two-year old in the candy isle.
The sin in my heart does.
His sin doesn’t make me sin.
The sin in my heart does.
I can say that it angers me because he has sinned against a Holy God, and that would certainly be true.
Even truer though, is the fact that I am most angry because he has sinned against me.
It disrupts my little world to again stop and deal with something I don’t want to deal with.
Then I allow that anger to sit around and take up residence in this little heart of mine.
Then it fills to overflowing, and spills out on those around me.
I let the sun go down on my anger. I don’t forgive as I have been forgiven. I don’t respond with the same grace that Christ has responded to me. I don’t love the way that christ has loved me.
What a gift conviction is. It allows me to repent. Then, I find the grace to try again. Realizing that in Christ,
I don’t have to wallow around in my anger.
I can respond with Christ’s love and compassion.
I can forgive when another sins against me.
I can respond with a soft answer.
I can face the same struggles day in and day out with grace.
I can do it all in love.
I can quit letting my heart fill with angry and bitter thoughts, and replace them with the truth of scripture. Then the overflow onto others is love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and gentleness and self-control.
I could have used a little bit of that this morning.
The good news is I serve a risen Savior who is quick to forgive and always ready restore and equip.
That same God who does wonders for my heart…I am confident He will do the same in my son’s heart.
Until then, Lord please grant me the grace to stay sane, I’m afraid I wouldn’t look very good in a straight jacket.