Who in the world let it be August already???
Something about this just seems wrong.
Didn’t we JUST have Christmas???
ANYWAY, my complaining about the rapid flipping of the calendar is NOT the purpose of this post. Just me lamenting the fact that time seems to be moving along at a break neck pace, I cannot keep up.
So on to the REAL point.
The other day I was reading some book, who knows which one, and it was speaking quite frankly of the call on Christ followers to embrace and prepare for martyrdom. The point was that when one follows Christ it must be with the full understanding that following means death. It talked of how early Christians knew full well that following meant real, and often painful death. You know the kind where you…die….painfully. It talked about how we should be preparing our children to be martyrs. Not to be gruesome or to frighten them, but because they may well face it one day, and because they need to know that a call to be a Christ follower means a call to death. The author suggested that one of the best ways to prepare ourselves and our children for the possible psychical death, is the daily dying to self. Daily giving up our will to HIS. Daily esteeming others as more high than ourselves. Daily giving ALL we have to the service of our King. Daily striving. Daily dying to self, he suggested, is good practice for real dying.
That gave me much food for thought.
Then I started thinking about how I am NOT good at the daily dying stuff.
Really I am not.
So then I started thinking about what that means for me in the whole daily dying is good practice for the real torture filled dying thing.
The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that should God call me to THAT kind of death, you wouldn’t be finding my story in the next addition of Jesus Freaks. If ol’ Fox was still around compiling stories, he would not be interested in adding me to his book of martyrs.
Then the author gave some riveting accounts of saints who have gone before me into glory, glorifying God in their VERY pain filled death.
That got me to thinking about what an absolute baby I am.
I DID give birth without drugs, but ONLY because that darned anesthesiologist was S.L.O.W. and that daughter of mine was fast.
Last week I cut into my finger nail with a pocket knife. It was at that point I declared that if anyone needed to get information out of me (as if I have information to give) they need only threaten to pull out my fingernails, and then I would be spillin’ the proverbial beans. I would be more than willing to tell them anything they wanted to know, and perhaps a few things they didn’t.
That got me whining to Jesus.
Thankfully He knows all about me, and loves me anyway.
He knows how very weak and baby like I am.
During my whining I just asked that I would finish well. I asked that if He should call me to that kind of death that I would hold fast to Him, and not in any way blaspheme Him in the process. I prayed that if that was His plan for me, that I would glorify Him in it.
To be completely honest, I ended that prayer pretty skeptical because I KNOW what a baby I am.
then I came out of my room and immediately watched this:
Then I cried and cried and cried.
My sweet Jesus whispered to my heart that I would finish well.
No matter what.
because He loves me like that father loves his son.
I am running this race, and it’s hard.
I am weak.
I cannot run it.
He is with me.
Striving for me
Helping to fight the good fight.
Helping me to finish this race.
Helping to win the crown.
Giving me victory.
This big baby can rest easy, because the One who called me is FAITHFUL.
However I cross the finish line it will be by His strength and His grace.
Thank you Lord for always being there to listen to my prayers.
Thank you for always being so quick to answer.
Thank you for answer this time in such a beautiful and visual way.
* On a side note this father and son story is AWESOME, you should go check it out on their website.